HELL ASS COCK BALLS FUCK SHIT CUNT!!
The live-action Akira project, previously thought dead and buried, has risen, like a beast from the bowels of the underworld, to torment us once more.
The current news is that it’s back in the hands of the Hughes brothers (Menace II Society, From Hell, The Book of Eli), a directing duo who have never really matched the potential of their first film. The concept of “nuance” is pretty much lost on them. Not that it matters who directs Akira, because no one should. It should simply be left untouched. But nooo.
Now, we’ve got news from all sorts of reliable outlets saying that they’ve been auditioning actors for the role of Kaneda, and the front runner is…
Fuck you. Fuck you and die. I don’t know if this is rumor or not. I don’t care if it’s rumor or not. There are some things we just shouldn’t ever have to talk about. Bestiality. Tofu meat products. Oprah. Vodka martinis. And Zac motherfucking Efron in Akira.
All of you. Take to the streets and burn down everything.