Unlike JK Rowling who announced today that her new Harry Potter project is not a prequel, the folks over at Disney are making no bones about it. The rumor has been circling for awhile, especially with the news that they’d be casting a young Han Solo, but during an investor’s conference, Disney’s chief financial officer Jay Rasulo used the words “origin story.” As in there will be a new Star Wars film every year and in between the new saga films, they will be doing origin stories. A little like Marvel and those Avengers boys.
So, in theory, we won’t just be doing the Han Solo back story but possibly, say, Lando’s and Leia’s as well. Because that worked so well for Anakin and Obi-Wan. But, in all seriousness, a Leia or Lando origins story would not be unwelcome. You know what would be unwelcome? Checking in with that little sniveling sh*t, Luke. He was nothing before he met Obi-Wan and I do not need two hours of him d*cking about with droids, going on weekend errands to the Toshi Station and bull’s-eyeing womp rats with his T- 16.
So we come to the wholly fun and not at all meant to cause you an aneurysm portion of this post I like to call “dreamboat casting Solo.” How low was that header photo I used? So low. I apologize. Is this better? Would a face like this shoot first?
Listen, I non-ironically like Efron. When he’s not Sparksing Piper Chapman or letting Nicole Kidman pee on him, he’s turned into quite a charming, roguish young man. I also like the idea, of all the young men in Hollywood salivating over this role like Jabba over a particularly fine piece of Organa flesh. Remember when they were casting Gatsby and several young actresses suddenly and coincidentally got pixie haircuts? Just scrapping for that Daisy role? Fingers crossed we see the handsome actorly types all dressing in vests and tight pants. It couldn’t hurt, fellas.
As for Leia and Lando. Well Anna Kendrick and Michael B. Jordan, or get the f*ck out.