You know, I’m beginning to get on board with this whole Snow White And The Huntsman movie. You know, the other adaptation of Snow White that’s coming out. This one is about Snow White escaping her wicked stepmother, aided by the huntsman who was supposed to kill her. Instead, he trains her to survive. And there are dwarfs. I mean little people. Hobbits? Fuck me, I have no clue.
And as is the post Lord Of The Rings world, the dwarfs will be played by normal sized people, because otherwise we’d just have to use CGI copies of Peter Dinklage and Jordan Prentice. And I guess they’ll instead CGI them down to little person size. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I feel like this is just another instance of Hollywood crazy-laziness — instead of just using talented little people, they’d rather just digitally shrink more well-known actors. It’s a little annoying.
Anyway, the first of the seven dwarfs has been cast, and it’s Al Swearengen himself, Ian McShane. Now I loves me some McShane, even though he can occasionally be a bitter disappointment in his post-“Deadwood” roles. I don’t care though. I’ll still watch everything he does. Additionally, there are some pretty badass actors in talks to play the some of the other dwarfs (see the handy list below).
Oh, wait. You should probably know that in this version there will actually be eight dwarfs. And they’re all named after famous ancient Romans. No, really. Via Slashfilm:
Caesar: the eldest, with the longest beard (McShane)
Nero: the angry one.
Tiberius: the biggest and burliest (Eddie Izzard is in talks)
Hadrian and Trajan: the twins.
Constantine: solemn and blind (Bob Hoskins is in talks)
Claudius: the timid one (Toby Jones is in talks)
Gus: young, unbearded, seemingly smitten with Snow White.
Not bad, right? Anyway, the film is directed by Rupert Saunders, in his debut. It will star
Thor Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman, with Charlize Theron as the Queen. That’s a solid cast, right there. Oh, and Snow White will be be played with lip-biting stoniness by Kristen Stewart.
Well, no one bats a thousand, I guess.