So many remakes/ reboots/ sequels. So few people who actually seem interested in them. Let’s get started, shall we?
Now You See Me 2
I was originally planning to write just about this movie, but then I realized “WHY?! Why? Why!” over and over is not an actual post. But seriously, why? I know that Now You See Me did better than expected at the box office, but it was a huge failure in the “that seems like a reasonable and coherent plot” department. Did you guys see this movie? It was terrible. Really terrible. The casting director deserves a giant bonus for getting that cast together, and everything else about the project should be burned and buried. Release Date: June 2016
I have no strong feelings on Dax Shephard other than the fact that he’s got great taste in women. But he seems like a decent enough guy, and he was fairly amusing in Idiotcracy. I have even weaker feelings on CHiPs, and Shephard writing, directing and starring in its big screen adaptation. Does anyone really have strong feelings on that? Was CHiPs a good enough show to warrant that? Or are the producers being misled by the success of 21 Jump Street? Because if it’s that second one, I’d like to remind them of Starsky and Hutch. And Dukes and Hazzard. And Miami Vice. And basically any movie adaptation of any ’80s show other than 21 Jump Street. No release date yet. And speaking of 21 Jump Street …
23 Jump Street
Yep, you knew that was coming. I’m not a superstitious person, but I am willing to go on record saying that the producers of 21 and 22 Jump Street absolutely, 100%, for sure made a deal with The Dark Lord Satan himself to make these movies work. There is no other explanation. Do you remember everyone’s reaction when we first heard that 21 Jump Street was being made? It was not good. So as long as that sweet, sweet Satan juice is still flowing through this franchise, I think we’ll have a winner. But I am afraid for Johan Hill’s eternal soul. No release date.
Mission Impossible 5
I actually just re-watched the original Mission Impossible movie this weekend, and guys, it does not hold up well. I mean, the action sequences are still as good/ totally implausible as they were in 1996. But mostly the technology that was super cool 20 years ago now seems laughably outdated. You remember the awesome “Vault” scene? Remember what’s on the wall of the Vault? A giant sign that says “Intrusion Countermeasures On/ Off.” Because that’s how high tech security works. I have no recollection of Mission Impossible 2, and the only thing I remember about Mission Impossible 3 is the couple that I walked out of the theater next to. The man said to his wife/ girlfriend, “Well, that was the most disappointing thing you’ve made us do since we had sex earlier.” I couldn’t tell you if he was joking, and if he was, about which part. Mission Impossible 4 I think was fine, but the only thing I really remember was this:
I guess I’ll have to hold off judgment on this one until the inevitable 6th movie comes out? If I can remember anything about this movie, we can consider it a success. Release date: December 25th, 2015