Your Total Recall Remake Will Be Directed by a Giant Pud
I’m not one of those guys that loathes the Underworld films. In fact, I liked the first one and the third one (mostly for Michael Sheen) but I don’t credit much of their success to director Len Wiseman (he didn’t even direct the last one), who kind of demonstrated his penchant for mediocrity in Live Free and Die Hard, which I thought was about as close to the definition of “serviceable” as you could get. But, man: People loathe this guy as a director. I’m not entirely sure where the hate comes from, but I don’t think the level of disdain the average fanboy has for Wiseman will drop any now that he’s officially signed on to direct the Total Recall remake, the next step in Hollywood’s attempts to cycle through Arnie’s entire catalog before moving on to remaking 1980s Tom Hanks movies (oh, you know it’ll happen).
Anyway, that happened. And I’m sure it’s a very bad idea. And I’m sure Wiseman’s wife, Kate Beckinsale, will be rumored for the role of Lori (originally played by Sharon Stone), and I’m sure that people will rail on this movie for the next 18 months, until it arrives at the 2011 Comic-Con, and a few movie bloggers will lose their nut over the footage, everyone will get unnecessarily excited about it, then it will be released, and it will perform only modestly, and then there’ll be a backlash for a few days, and then we’ll move on to discussing the merits of David Ayer’s Commando remake and then, like all remakes, it will be completely forgotten about.
Circle of life, folks. Circle of life.
Kurt Wimmer (Equilibrium, Salt) is penning the screenplay.