I interrupt your Friday afternoon for this breaking news: The stunningly gorgeous and fine actor, Alexander Skarsgård, has signed on to play a naval officer (and Taylor Kitch’s brother) in Peter Berg’s “Battleship”, which is some sort of alien invasion adaptation of the game. What kind of career move can this be? Clearly, I need to take over as his manager (and confidant and tailor and housemaid and mistress and sex slave).
Wait a minute. Did I just type naval officer? So I guess that means he’ll be wearing a uniform? Let’s take a moment to think about that, shall we? Also, we may want to think about pieces of the uniform being removed, as any movie version of a board game would undoubtedly involve the removing of say…a cap and a jacket. Then at some point, surely he’d have to take off the whole thing to change into civilian clothes when he has downtime, right? And probably he’d want to take a shower, because boats are so, so dirty - so I’m sure there would be a shower scene. And what fun is a board game shower scene alone?
Um, could you excuse me a minute?