Rovio Entertainment’s Angry Birds is three years old. There are pissed off birds and smug green pigs at the grocery store, staring at you from candies, stuffed toys, board games, and t-shirts. Now Rovio is attempting to build up their own movie and television studio, using David Maisel (formerly of Marvel Studios) to assist them in that endeavor. Their first order of business? A 3D CGI Angry Birds movie. They even have Despicable Me’s John Cohen on board as a producer. Cohen also had the bright idea to make those Godtopus-awful Chipmunks movies, so let’s all send him shit in a box on the anniversary of the first movie.
Let’s just think for a moment here. What will this movie be about? What is the plotline? Are they going to trace the beginnings of the bird and pig feud? Will it start with a Romeo and Juliet love story between one of those pink birds and a mustachioed pig? Or will there be a parody of sorts of journey movies? The young red bird, the most useless of the Angry Birds, has to deliver a special golden egg to someplace, but encounters all of those asshole pigs on his trip. I suppose we’ll find out in 2016. I can wait.