World's Least Talented Fake News Anchor Attempts to Break Will Ferrell's Glass Case of Emotion
I don’t know how familiar you youngsters are with Colin Quinn, but in the history of “Saturday Night Live,” he’s arguably one of the least talented cast members and inarguaby its worst Weekend Update fake anchor. The guy couldn’t deliver a line to Linsdey Lohan in an abandoned alley at 3 a.m. on New Year’s. He was horrid, so it’s might rich of Quinn to take to Twitter and trash Will Ferrell the day after Ferrell was awarded the Mark Twain Prize.
Wait a second? They did drugs on “Saturday Night Live”? No way! You mean, the television show where John Belushi and Chris Farley got their start had a drug culture? Get. Out. Of. Town. And Will Ferrell — who delivered gibberish as Harry Carey and jumped around like a ninny as a cheerleader — partook in those drugs? Step back!
Dude: Anyone who has seen Anchorman had to know Ferrell was baked to the gooey center when he and Adam McKay wrote that script.
And “not bitter”? Really, Will Ferrell makes $20 million a movie, and Colin Quinn’s unemployment check barely registers $20 a day. If I were Colin Quinn, I’d be bitter, too. Not because of Will Ferrell, but because I’m so immensely untalented, because I can’t get a job, and because I chose the wrong goddamn profession. Colin Quinn has hosted two talk shows since he left “SNL.” One lasted 15 episodes, and the other lasted three (3). Thankfully, Adam Sander is around to give him the occasional film cameo so he can keep up his weight, although even Sandler probably only relents so Quinn will stop asking.
Quinn also delivered this rambling and mysterious spiel on Twitter.
“I mean wish me the best because on the other side, there’s some really heavy stuff that could come out about me too. Real bad stuff. I mean unforgiveable. Really bad and serious charges. So that’s kind of hanging over my head, as well. It’s ugly stuff. Stuff that I keep saying no, I’ll never do that again, then it’s like I wake up and it’s like OH MY GOD! You know? I’ve done things…I mean we all have…that can never be taken back. Nobody can control their desires…Am I right, or am I right? Terrible things.”
“Terrible things” is right! Have you seen those Weekend Update segments? You can’t even find any on YouTube because there were no highlights. It was dreadful, uneven, unfunny, stammering, and dull. Back before “The Daily Show,” you could typically rely on “Weekend Update” to deliver during even the worst episodes, but not when Colin Quinn was host. Instead of skipping everything else to watch “Weekend Update,” you fast-fowarded through Colin Quinn to watch the second-half skits. And no one likes the second-half skits. Colin Quinn made me miss Norm MacDonald, and Norm MacDonald only had two jokes: The one about O.J. and the one about David Haselhoff.
He was pretty good on “Remote Control,” though. And this brand of crazy probably bought him 10,000 new Twitter followers.