I will grant that the resemblance is uncanny, and if you’re like me, at first glance, you probably thought that was an image of Ashton Kutcher next to an image of Ashton Kutcher playing a Greek guy with shitty facial hair. That’s actually a young Steve Jobs, who Ashton Kutcher will be playing in an independent biopic, and the similarities freak me out. BUT ISN’T IT MORE IMPORTANT TO CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF A PERSON THAN THE RESEMBLANCE? Because if it is, Ashton Kutcher couldn’t capture the essence of a wet fart trapped in a duodenum. The casting is ridiculous. I mean, it’s like Ashton Kutcher playing Steve Jobs: Yes, the most extreme, hyperbolic comparison I can make is THE ACTUAL CASTING.
I shouldn’t get too bent out of shape. I mean, after all, Ashton Kutcher has million of Twitter followers; that’s totally the same thing as revolutionizing technology, movies, the world. IT’S LIKE THEY’RE THE SAME PERSON.
That picture is really wigging me out.
Anyway, Joshua Michael Stern (Kevin Costner’s Swing Vote) is directing, and filming begins during the upcoming “Two and a Half Men” hiatus. The film, Jobs, will chronicle Steve Jobs’ meteoric rise from Northern California hippie to co-founder of Apple and it will probably end with a cheesy speech delivered in an airport, and The Fray will probably provide soundtrack along with Stain’d, remaking Grateful Dead songs just to fuck with your heads.