For those readers of the United States citizenry, allow me to say Hoo-rah and a Happy belated Fourth of July. For those who don’t celebrate American independence (or prefer Bastille Day), a Top O’the Tuesday to ya. Although, since this news is about the sequel to G.I. Joe: Cobra Rises and not the 1980s cartoon, which altered a good portion of the “real American heroes” into attempts at “real International badasses,” this post doesn’t need to be excessively patriotic.
Excepting, of course, that with news of Adrianne Palicki (“Friday Night Lights” and ads for Party City’s Wonder Woman costume) joining Dwayne Johnson, RZA, and (stupidly, awesomely) possibly Bruce Willis, G.I. Joe: Cobra Strikes is looking more ‘Merican than the previous popcorn mumbo jumbo they tried to pass off as an action film, despite being less coherent than an actual toy commercials.
Palicki will suit up as Lady Jaye, alongside The Rock’s Roadblock, and the Wu-Tanger’s martial artist Blind Master (which is a character I have never heard of). Apparently Bruce Willis is wanted for the O.G.I. Joe, Joe Coulton, which is just crazy enough to work. While “purists” might approve of this all American casting, the international flavor was unquestionably not the problem with the first movie — that one’s biggest problem is that it exists. (It’s a good candidate for non-sober viewing experiences, but that’s because it’s cheerfully bad, unlike the Transformers films, which just make one feel dirty.) Palicki herself is a interesting, if sad, choice for Lady Jaye. The role would seem tailor-made for someone on her way down looking for a boost — like Jessicas Alba and Biel, as in The Rock’s case — instead of someone who seemed like she was on her way up. Under these circumstances, I really do wish her “Wonder Woman” pilot had gotten a chance, though I also wish that it didn’t look nearly as wretched as all the evidence made it appear.
Regardless, like the supposed Green Lantern sequel, this movie is happening. It is not ours to reason why, it only falls upon us to yo, Joe. Enjoy this PSA of Lady Jaye in action, and take her heed on today, the day of the USA’s birth:
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force and co-hosts the internet radio show/podcast We’re Not Fanboys. It is his understanding that if knowing is half the battle, then doing must be the other half — so where, then, does that leave belief?