Bones is the worst procedural on television that doesn’t have CSI in the title. I know people who have their own dance for the NCIS theme song shouldn’t be throwing stones in glass procedural houses, but I kind of hate everything about Bones. If instead of getting a medical examiner to do an autopsy, whenever you have a murder you always have a scientist just dissolve all the flesh off the body and play with the bones, you’re not doing science, I think you just have a very disturbing fetish.
If Bones is ripe for any crossover, it’s Criminal Minds, in which the BAU finally hunts down and arrests these fake scientists molesting skeletons.
But no, instead Bones is having a special crossover episode with Sleepy Hollow. I think the bigger news is that Sleepy Hollow is still on the air, since it had a niche audience rapidly falling out of love with it in the last season, and the Nielson ratings are so low that they need an electron microscope to measure them accurately.
Yes, a procedural that likes to insist it is about science, however incompetently, will of course be sharing the same television universe as one with immortal sessy dudes with flowing hair who sleep for centuries and fight headless horsemen. NATURALLY.
Says a disposable Fox executive:
“On Bones, the grisly discovery of human remains lead Brennan and Booth on a hunt for clues, during which they encounter Ichabod Crane and Abbie Mills, searching for answers of their own. Realizing that they are after the same evidence, they team up to solve the mystery. Then, immediately following on Sleepy Hollow, the intrigue continues as Ichabod’s old nemesis is back from the dead. Ichabod and Abbie need advanced forensic help and expertise to stop him and turn to Brennan and Booth to unlock 18th century secrets using 21st century science.”
This episode will air on October 29th. So I’m putting on my calendar to take a baseball bat to every television in my house on October 28th, followed by drinking myself into a coma.