Today, we learned that neither director Sam Taylor-Johnson nor screenwriter Kelley Marcel will return for the sequels to 50 Shades of Grey. The sequels, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades of Blue: Electric Boogaloo (presumably), will be directed by someone else entirely.

But…WHO? Here are the top five picks to direct the sequels. My insider knowledge tells me it WILL be one of these choices. It’s just a matter of who.

David Cronenberg

Takashi Miike

David Lynch

Lars von Trier

Famous porn director Mike Adriano, director of such hits as All Day Anal and Buttsex Nymphos 3

I mean, give the people what they want.

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