Michelle Obama

Topic: Fun Facts About Gardening

Delivery: Smooth, confident. She’s luminescent.

Jokes: Seriously lame.

Best Line: “In his lifetime, the average American will eat half a radish.”

Mitt Romney

Topic: Top Ten Things Mitt Romney Would Like to Say to the American People

Delivery: Stiff, wooden, but it works in his favor, particularly working against a slightly hostile Letterman.

Jokes: Not bad, actually. Effectively self-deprecating.

Best Line: “What’s Up, Gangsters. It’s the M-I-Double-Tizzle.”

Barack Obama

Topic: Barack Obama Campaign Promises

Delivery: Charming and good natured, but halting in typical Obama fashion.

Jokes: Hit and miss, but more miss than hit.

Best Line: “Appoint Mitt Romney Secretary of Lookin’ Good.”

Overall Winner: Romney, with a slight edge over Barack Obama thanks largely to better joke writing, but Michelle looked the best doing it.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.