In announcements reminiscent of two other recent throwback adaptations, two more properties from our collective youth might very well become major motion pictures in the near future. And coincidentally enough, they both have something to do with locating a cartoonish individual who would rather not be found: Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? was announced by Jennifer Lopez’s Nuyorican Productions and MGM Studios is somehow going to translate Where’s Waldo (or, Where’s Wally for our U.K. friends) into a kids’ flick.
Before we let our derisive laughter turn maniacal, in regards to J-Lo’s Carmen Sandiego, it’s worth noting that she is merely producing the movie, and is not planning to star in it. Still, Lopez’s producer track record is virtually non-existent, having only previously brought the flop El Cantate (co-starring her husband, Marc Anthony) and the so-little-seen-it-may-as-well-be-an-urban-legend Feel The Noise. Regardless, at least one aspect of the film will be out of her control, as Walden Media, owners of the character rights, stipulated that the final product must have an educational component similar to the computer games and the television game show that came before it. Hopefully that means the movie will be a good, non-ironic time as it teaches people about Burkina Faso and The Disputed Zone.
Take a moment to read the premise while listening to the TV show’s original theme song (Warning: Ear Worming
Possible Entirely Likely):
When the ACME agency’s greatest detective Carmen Sandiego becomes the world’s greatest thief, it’s up to her former partner to follow her clues and track her down. Their cat-and-mouse game leads the partner to confront a greater mystery: Is Carmen really a thief or a hero?
Less is known about MGM Studios’ Where’s Waldo adaptation, which they are calling simply “a live-action family adventure.” Presumably, the “family” in that equation means that the extended Waldoverse — including Wilma, Wenda, Wizard Whitebeard, and his archenemy Odlaw — will be joining the Waldo himself on the big screen. There’s no educational stipulation for this project, however, and that’s probably because there’s likely little value in making children intently stare at colorful and complex imagery for hours on end. Other than preparing them to be comfortable wearing glasses in their adult lives, not unlike the title character. Vulture tries to talk John Krasinski out of playing the title character, but honestly, now that they’ve said it, he’s the only actor I can see in the role…
(Header Source: College Humor)
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force and tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar. If Lopez is making Carmen Sandiego because of her seemingly latin heritage, he would like to see Sofía Vergara wear the red hat and trench coat. But probably only for lascivious reasons that have nothing to do with acting.