I’ve become incredibly fascinated with 50 Shades of Grey — specifically with how terrible the writing is — since discovering the iconic tampon scene a few weeks back. I admit that I may have read several other passages since then, purely out of morbid curiosity. I’m reviewing the film, so I can chalk it up to research, right (plus, it helps with the Spongebob fanfic)?
Another of those “iconic” scenes (if you can call it that) from 50 Shades of Grey is the “steamy” elevator scene. It’s one of those scenes readers are very excited about seeing in theaters, which I can’t wait to see, by myself, in a crowded theater. However, having now read the passage now, I have no idea what the big deal is.
Here’s E.L. James passage:
“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”
I would note, again, that those ellipsis aren’t used the way they’re meant to be used, i.e., to indicate an omission. I also don’t really understand what’s particularly sexy about that scene. Do women really want their face pressed between vice-like hands? Or their hair yanked down like pulling a bell?
Here it is in action.
That’s it? I mean, he doesn’t even press his, uh, erection against her belly, which is an awkward thing to have to write, folks. I mean, that’s not where that goes, unless you’re into that sort of thing.
Anyway, I think I like Vanessa Bayer’s version better, even if it is for an Audi Ad.