Last week, in the middle of a Friday news dump, on a weekend when much of the country’s film press was nestled drunkly away at South By Southwest, Paramount made a strange announcement. Only one week before its scheduled US release, the studio had dropped The Little Prince. Yes, THAT Little Prince. The one we’ve been looking forward to for over a year. The one that has overwhelmingly positive reviews out of its festival debut and foreign premieres. The same Little Prince that, back in December, before its release in major markets like North America, the UK, or Italy, was already “the most popular French animated film of all time outside France,” bringing in $88.4 million on a $77.5 million budget.
So what the crap is going on over at Paramount to make those A-holes drop the movie only one week out? There are a few hypotheses out there.
The best odds here seem to be on Paramount realizing that there is no possible competing with the surprisingly political and Furry-friendly Disney movie. This would explain (and honestly not be a terrible reason for) a push of the movie’s release, though not a whole cancellation.
The other thought is that Paramount saw the poor return (NOT POOR CONTENT, THOUGH) on their last animated feature and thought “People must just not want animated movies anymore!” Like how Jem and the Holograms revealed that audiences just hate watching movies about women, right?
—They hate themselves.
Look, I’m not so naive as to have thought that this was going to be the smart, feminist nostalgia dream the trailer promised me. But based on all the information out there, it seems like the studio pulled the plug on, if not the Best Movie Ever, then at least something to have been proud of. So did they not want to be proud? Are they so crushed under the weight of the Dream Factory that they can’t bear actually giving us something of quality? (I’m not being dramatic, YOU’RE being dramatic!)
—They hate us.
Oh, of course. Maybe the people behind this decision don’t hate themselves, they just hate us. Actually, if they’re insistent on depriving someone of happiness, this makes a lot more sense.
There’s still no word from Paramount by way of explanation, but the film’s director, Mark Osborne, says we ARE still getting this movie.
1/3 Many thanks to everyone for the outpouring of love and support in these strange times.— Mark Osborne (@happyproduct) March 12, 2016
2/3 - As it turns out, the much anticipated U.S. release of this special and unique film will have to be anticipated just a little bit more.— Mark Osborne (@happyproduct) March 12, 2016
3/3 - All I can say is #thelittleprince will in fact be released by another distributor later this year.— Mark Osborne (@happyproduct) March 12, 2016
4/4 - Until then, head to Canada! The film opens there in wide release this weekend!— Mark Osborne (@happyproduct) March 12, 2016
You heard him, everyone. To Canada! Oh, and Paramount,