I guess I’ll have to amend my earlier statement. A few days ago, I said, “when you’re out of ideas, make a sequel. When you’re out of sequels, remake something. When you’re out of remakes, reboot something. ” Now we can change that ending to “when you’re out of reboots, make a teen version of it.”
Warner Brothers has apparently optioned the teen-targeted novel “The Heist Society” by Ally Carter (which hasn’t even been released yet), which is being described as a sort of Thomas Crown Affair for teens. Super. Slashfilm describes it as being about “a young woman named Katarina Bishop who hails from an extended family of cat burglars and master thieves. The girl leaves her illicit life behind, but when her father is the prime suspect behind a mobster’s missing art collection, she assembles a crew to track down the art and steal it back.”
Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, Uggs and all. It’s a great idea, really. Take all the subtlety, nuance, class, top-notch acting, pacing, sexiness and irony of the The Thomas Crown Affair (in a rare instance of remakes working, both the McQueen and Brosnan versions are great fun), and dumb it down for the teenybopper set. No, really, it’ll be great. We can get a few cut-rate CW actors, throw in a sassy black friend (because there’s always a sassy black friend), some quick-cut editing, a passionless romantic story, and poof! Instant success. Apparently, they’re going to switch the plot to characters in their 20s instead of teens, but in Hollywood terms, what fucking difference does it make.
Oddly, Pierce Brosnan claims that they’re proceeding with The Thomas Crown Affair 2 as well, although Paul Verhoeven is supposedly directing, so who the hell knows how that will end up.