Before I present the full-size image of Brolin and Bardem’s man-on-man love at the Oscars, I find that it’s helpful to preface something cool with something miserable, which will then be wiped away from your mind by the cool thing. So, here’s what I want you to forget within the next 45 seconds:
Disney is making a movie based on its theme park ride, Jungle Cruise, and Tom Hanks and Tim Allen have agreed to team together again to voice whatever characters need to be voiced in a goddamn movie about a goddamn theme park ride. (Deadline)
Now, as for that kiss: ABC, in all its infinite wisdom, decided to take advantage of their seven-second delay during the Oscar telecast and, when Bardem and Brolin came out to present in matching white suits and performed an awkward dance which ended with lips touching, the network decided to cut away to a reaction shot of Penelope Cruz for seven seconds. And while it’s a shame we didn’t get to see these men show their love for one another, it does retroactively explain why Penelope Cruz looked so giddy.
You’ve forgotten all about that Jungle Cruise nonsense, haven’t you?