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The only thing that matters is what that jury believes!!!

By Seth Freilich | Industry | May 19, 2010 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | May 19, 2010 |

We keep marching along with the network upfronts. Since talking about ABC’s new schedule, the Alphabet has given us some videos for its new shows. Let’s see what we’ve got (warning: the answer is “not much”).

“Better Together”

Prognosis: …Ugh.

“Body of Proof”

Prognosis: Dana Delany, Philly, Kima from “The Wire” and “trace amounts of semen,” all good. But still … “the body is the evidence?” Ugh.

“Detroit 1-8-7”

Prognosis: What’d I say yesterday? Oh that’s right: “I give. Merciful Christ.” Sorry Mikey Imperioli, I likes ya, but no.

“Happy Endings”

Prognosis: I love happy endings, if you know what I’m saying, nudge nudge wink wink. But as for this show, unless I’m promised that a cougar will chase down and eat Elisha Cuthbert’s character, I’m out (even though I love, love, love Eliza Coupe from “Scrubs”).

“Mr. Sunshine”

Prognosis: Well this at least has some potential, though we’ll have to wait until midseason to see if it can put the pieces together. More importantly though, seeing Andrea Anders makes me miss “Better Off Ted” already. Really, we had to lose “Better Off Ted” to get “Happy Endings?” Damn you, ABC!

“My Generation”

Prognosis: I’ll stick with what I said yesterday: “It stars a bunch of people I’ve mostly never heard of and, speaking of ‘The Unusuals,’ comes from Noah Hawley, the writer and exec producer of that show (and from ‘Bones,’ before that). Because of that, I’ll probably gives this show a chance. But I’ll be setting my expectations low.” …And they’re a little bit lower, still, after watching this clip.

“No Ordinary Family”

Prognosis: Well I don’t know what to make of this show. It sounds really intriguing on paper, and comes off disappointingly cheesy in trailer. But I remain intrigued, and am still willing to give it a shot. Especially because Romany Malco can do no wrong.

“Off The Map”

Prognosis: I kept waiting for the Smoke Monster to come out of the jungle and eat the doctors but he never came! …This Shonda Rhimes show is going to work for some, but don’t count me among them.

“Secret Millionaire”

Prognosis: This show stunk when it was on Fox a few years ago, and it looks like it’ll stink when it’s on ABC later this year. And yet, I could easily see this tugging-at-the-heartstrings show being a quiet little hit for the Alphabet.

“The Whole Truth”

Prognosis: I love Rob Morrow, I love Eamonn Walker, and I like Joely Richardson but, uhm, no.

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Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.