Yesterday, we took another opportunity to belittle poor, talented, misguided Terrence Howard for doing whatever it was that he did that got him booted from Iron Man 2 in favor of Don Cheadle. Today, we learn that Gore Verbinski — who directed the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, which fetched $2.6 billion worldwide — has decided that he doesn’t want to direct the fourth installment of the series.
Good for Verbinski, right? He’s putting his foot down, and he saying: I don’t care how much money you throw at me, this franchise became creatively bankrupt the minute Johnny Depp started swinging on vines and running from aborigines. That’s right: Verbinski has decided to make a movie that means something, damnit. Something he can be proud of. Something deep, and profound, and complex, and … what’s that?
A video-game movie? Awww, you’ve gotta be shitting me. Gore Verbinski is turning down wads of cash in order to make a video-game movie? It’s called Bioshock, and I’m sure the gamers are intimately familiar with it. It’s a first person shooter game that follows a plane-crash survivor who must navigate an underwater city and fight off mutated beings and mechanical drones.
Great idea, Verbinski. Because video-game adaptations are always so well received, commercially and critically. But I’m sure your the one that’s going to break the streak, man. You’re going to be the guy who finally makes a video-game movie worth watching. You: The director of Weather Man.
Good luck with that, buddy.
Meanwhile, Jerry Bruckheimer and Johnny Depp are still developing the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, although it has not officially been greenlit.