So, MGM is remaking Valley Girl. That was inevitable, I suppose. And if you don’t know anything about the original, it was about a suburban girl, who, like, totally hooked up with a punk (played by Nicolas Cage), and they, you know, totally, like, go to the prom and stuff and talk, like, in a way that, you know, makes you want to, like, strangle yourself.
The surprise here, however, is how they are “re-imagining” Valley Girl. They’ve hired Broadway director Jason Moore, who directed Avenue Q and Steel Magnolias on Broadway, as well as the Tony-nominated Broadway version of Shrek: The Musical.
Mr. Moore, working from a script by Amy Talkington, will be turning Valley Girl into a musical. A musical! Because the only thing more obnoxious than Valley-girl speak, is, like, Valley-girl speak set to music. According to THR, the “project revamps the story as a “Romeo and Juliet”-inspired musical built around the first movie’s New Wave soundtrack (think Modern English, Sparks and the Psychedelic Furs).”
“I’ll, like. stop the world and, you know, melt with you. And stuff.”
Turn to the stranger to your left, and spit on him.
It’ll make you feel better.