Deadline Hollywood — which is operated by batshit journalist Nikki Finke, who travels the sewers of Hollywood by way of Satan’s feces to collect these stories — is reporting that there is a sequel, of sorts, to this weekend’s Valentine’s Day in the works. Appropriately enough, it will be called New Year’s Day, and is expected to bring back director Gary Marshall and a couple of the characters from Valentine’s Day (please let it be Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner! Please please please!)
Katherine Fugate, who wrote Valentine’s Day as well as 47 episodes of “Army Wives,” has already turned in the script. The thinking here is that this ensemble thing really works, no matter how shitty the movie is, as long as the movie is aligned with a particular holiday, which is an even bigger devolution from New Line’s idea after the success of He’s Just Not That Into You, which was a Valentine’s Day ensemble movie of the year. Now, we can look forward to an insipid ensemble comedy for every goddamn holiday of the year, until we reach 2025 and they just start releasing ensemble moves based on the days of the week, before moving on to movies based on meal times.
I’m so very looking forward to Supper, which will bring back the entire cast of High School Musical and Twilight for a series of 30-second interconnected vignettes.
The great thing about these ensemble comedies, though, is that freelance writers paid by the word can collect tidy paychecks simply for transcribing the names of the cast members.