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Uwe Boll Has Announced That He Intends To Stop Making Terrible Movies

By Jodi Smith | Industry | October 26, 2016 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | October 26, 2016 |

Uwe Boll, a name synonymous with garbage movies, has announced that he is retiring from film-making.


What could possibly cause Boll to quit making movies and challenging critics to boxing matches?

“They’ll say, ‘That wonderful movie! I liked it blah, blah, blah,’ then watch Avengers. With streaming everywhere there is just a big wave of movies flooding around and you have no impact.”

“The market is dead,” he adds, “you don’t make any money anymore on movies because the DVD and Blu Ray market worldwide has dropped 80 per cent in the last three years. That is the real reason; I just cannot afford to make movies.”

“I can’t go back to student filmmaking because I have made so many movies in my life, and I can’t make cheaper and cheaper movies at my age. It’s a shame. I would be happy to make movies but it is just not financially profitable.” - via Metro

Before Boll leaves us crying in the dirt, he will release Rampage: President Down for us to ignore. Let’s celebrate the end of a shitty, shitty era with a look back at the thirty movies Boll managed to cobble together and unleash upon an unsuspecting world.

House of the Dead (2003)

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Bloodrayne (2005)

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

Postal (2007)

Kids, he made another like 23 movies before and after that. I have to stop. I don’t even understand how he got the money together to make this many messes. Here’s hoping TK chooses to give Boll a proper send off by assigning Steven to review his very last turd.

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Jodi Smith is a Senior Reporter, Film & Television at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.