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The Thing With The Thing

By Brian Prisco | Industry | January 5, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | January 5, 2010 |

There’s no point in enjoying any horror movie anymore, because they’re just going to remake it. They’ll do it choppier, and flashier, and more MTVier. Rosemary’s Baby would fall out of Juno and turn into the date of the Seed of Chucky. Now, if John Lithgow or William Shatner thought they saw a gremlin on the wing of their plane, an air marshal would put two between their eyes and then get a commendation. It’s hideous, and unstoppable.

Stacey gave you the heads up about The Orphanage redux, a perfectly awesome horror flick from but two goddamn years ago that somehow needs to be Americanized for our appreciation. Ridley Scott’s decided to take another gander at the Alien franchise, because Sigourney Weaver’s reaching that point where she’ll do anything for a dollar. (Frankly, I’d like to see them bring back Lance Henriksen. Or even Paul Reiser.)

John Carpenter’s The Thing was pretty much a live target for remake from the second the odious practice came about. They had actually gotten Ronald Moore, the scribe responsible for the beloved “BSG” to fire out a prequel. I would have been behind this, as Moore would have kept the atmosphere while respecting the original. Shit, he probably would have worked in Kurt Russell and Wilford Brimley in new exciting roles. Plus, Moore’s got experience with the cylons, so he knows how to work that angle.

Now, they’ve brought in Eric Heisserer to rework the script. Heisserer wrote a webseries and also punched up the new Nightmare on Elm Street abortion, so they felt he’d be a prime dude to polish a script written by the latest guy to keep decent science fiction on television alive. That’s kind of like having Rachel Ray judge Top Chef.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

(Source: MTV Movie Blog)

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