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Typical Parents Throw a Fit Just Because Their Kids Saw a President Looking for Pebbles between His Mistress' Legs

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | November 4, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | November 4, 2014 |

Last week, when It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown ended on ABC, kids watching live at home were given an unexpected treat just 26 seconds later: President Fitzgerald and Capt. Jake Ballard took turns making mad, passionate love to Olivia Pope in a dream sequence on Scandal.

Instead of using that as a teaching moment, the Parents Television Council released an angry, pearl-clutching statement condemning the network for the abrupt shift:

“Shame on ABC for putting a peep show next to a playground. In less than 26 seconds we were taken from the Peanuts pumpkin patch to a steamy Scandal sex scene. Twenty-six seconds, boom. Unless parents had the remote control in their hand, thumb on the button and aimed directly at the TV screen, they didn’t have a chance. Such a transition is grossly irresponsible by the network and entirely unfair for parents. ABC owes families an apology.”


What’s the big deal? So what if a few five or six year olds saw two men taking turns expressing their love for an attractive woman! And sure, Fitzy may have been seen with his face between the legs of Olivia Pope, but that’s just because he was looking for pebbles.

Besides, the scene was nothing more than a sea of faces and legs and maybe a little writhing interspersed with scenes of Olivia Pope swimming in a pool toward her father. It encourages physical fitness! And horseplay! And an appreciation of the human body! (Although, the hair pulling we could do without; that is definitely not something we want to encourage).

Pbbbt. Parents these days, they get so bent out of shape over every little thing. What they should really be angry about is that terrible cover of “Summer Breeze,” an already bad song made even worse. You don’t want kids humming that around the house.

Commercial preview not for children from Parents Television Council on Vimeo.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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