First of all — fuck all y’all (y’is?) who piss and moan about the use of the word “irregardless.” I’ve been getting that shit for years, including countless fights with my grammarian-wannabe college girlfriend over my use of that “non-word.” Does it do anything “regardless” doesn’t do? I suppose not. Is it a double negative? I suppose so. Do I still use improper and hick-sounding words like “ain’t” and “y’all?” You’re damn right. So I’m a-keep on using “irregardless” ir-fucking-regardless of what y’all say, and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.
Ok, quick and dirty TV news, let’s do it.
Did you know that ABC’s bringing “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” (or “Millllonair,” per Slumdog Milliaonire) back into primetime next month to celebrate its 10th anniversary? Well they are — Regis will be back, hosting 11 episodes from August 9 through August 23. You wanna be a millllonair? There are several ways you can try to get in. One, there will be a phone game from 7 p.m. on July 6 through 3 a.m. on July 16. You can call 800.990.7878 once per day and try to answer five questions where you have to put four answer choices in the right order. Get all five right, select the day you want to show up for a taping, and you’re eligible. To be selected in a random drawing. To qualify as a finalist. Piece of cake. Alternatively, check out the press release for details on submitting a video submission or hitting one of the regional auditions. And if you do become a millllonair as a result of this post, I’ll be happy to cut my usual 20% fee down to just 10%, cause I’m that kind of guy, irregardless of what people say about me.
In better news, FX has announced the premiere dates for three of its returning shows this fall. “Nip/Tuck” is coming back in October for its second-to-last season. Ho-whatever-hum. “Sons of Anarchy” is coming back earlier, on September 8, which is far more interesting — the show really picked up in the second half of its first season, and I think it could do some good things in round two. But most importantly of all, September 17, bitches. That’s when Drunken Devito and the crew return with the new season of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” And irregardless of whether you like my use of “non-words” or not, you can’t argue that “Sunny” gives good comedy.
Lastly, dunno if those of you with HBO watched the premiere of “Hung” last week, but it’s a decent little show that looks to have some promising potential. And it opened to solid ratings for the network, pulling in 2.8 million viewers (down a little from the 3.7 million viewers who were watching “True Blood” right before it, but still a pretty good retention percentage for a new show). This is HBO’s biggest opening for a premiere episode since “John From Cincinnati” several years back, which had the plum post-“Sopranos” finale spot. You know what they say about a show with big premiere ratings? Quick renewal. Irregardless of whether you liked that joke or not, tip your bartender!