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"True Blood's" Joe Manganiello Shaves His Beard and Now He's Only Better Looking than 98 Percent of America

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 6, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 6, 2013 |

Tough break, Joe. I’m sure you thought it was a great idea when you took the clippers to your beard, wondering what it must look like beneath that perfectly unruly facial hear. We’ve all been there, man. One day you’re just like, “Man, I bet I’d look five years younger if I shaved off this grey-flecked beard. The ladies need to know that I’m only 36, instead of 40.” And it does have magically de-aging effects. Unfortunately, it also puts a dent in your sex appeal, eh, kiddo?

We’ve all been there, Joe. You must be feeling really silly this morning. You can no longer say that you’re better looking than 99 percent of Americans. Now, you’re only better looking than 98 percent of men in the United States. How doe it feel to be in the 2 percent, Joe? Say hello to Josh Holloway and that guy from “Hawaii Five-O.”

Such a shame. You’re going to have to try a little harder to get laid now, and by that, I mean: You may have to unbuckle your own belt before your date removes your pants.

How far you have fallen.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.