This? This hurts. The good news is that Lee Child’s fabulously pulpy novel “One Shot” is getting adapted into a movie. “One Shot” is one of the many novels featuring the burly, stoic, and utterly badass ex-Military Policeman Jack Reacher, usually just called “Reacher.” The novels are brain candy of the highest order, but they’re also highly entertaining and Reacher is a pretty interesting subject. He’s a brute of a man, but also highly intelligent. He’s literally homeless — after getting phased out of the Army, he travels around without a home and just enough money to get by, and basically gets into adventures where he solves crimes, saves people, and beats the ever-living fuck out of the bad guys. There’s a bit of social commentary peppered in there among the introspective moments and bountiful military jargon, but it all takes a back stage to Reacher’s general badassitude.
Reacher is also a hell of a physical specimen — in the books, he’s 6’5” and 250 pounds of highly-trained trouble, and casting him seems like a seriously (ahem) tall order. The film is being developed by Christopher McQuarrie, and of course, the logical choice for Reacher is…
Wait, what? How did we go from towering badass to 5’7”-in-heels-on-a-ladder chicklet-mouthed lunatic? Don’t get me wrong, I like Cruise as Ethan Hunt… well, not counting M:I2, but casting him as Jack Reacher would be the mother of all casting fuckups. This is one of those instances where the look of the character is integral to the piece. This isn’t casting someone who’s blond to play a brunette. Cruise may be a capable actor, but there’s no possible way he can pull off “intimidating giant.”
It’s just early rumor at this point, so let’s all pray that this never come to pass.