film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb


'Cause Now Youve Got to Fly, (Fly High) Fly to the Angels

By TK Burton | Industry | December 8, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | December 8, 2009 |

What the hell? I mean, I guess this is a semi-original idea, in that it hasn’t, to my knowledge, been done before, but…

OK, so here it is: TMU Pictures has tapped Michael Chait to direct his script of War Birds, which is described as being about “an Air Force veteran-turned-reckless airshow re-enactment pilot as he gets pulled into the underground culture of illegal, real-life aerial combat.”

::scratches head::

So … I … does … I guess.

Is this like The Fast And The Furious with planes? Will someone deliver the line “I live my life a quarter mach at a time”? Will Vin Diesel be involved? Doesn’t he almost have to be? How exactly does one get involved with, not to mention get away with, an underground aerial combat circuit? It seems that the outcome would frequently be one person dying, so … how many bouts could there possibly be? This doesn’t actually exist, does it? Have I been wasting my time on basketball games when I could have been watching the And 1 Blow Shit Up In The Sky Tour?

Why am I asking all these fucking questions? Why am I so perplexed by this? Why is this being made at all?

What should I have for lunch?

This whole thing just has me puzzled. Also? A little enraged at its stupidity, because let’s be serious — there’s no way this ends up being a good movie. I suspect it’s going to be more like the flying version of that stupid motorcycle movie that had the two chicks motorbike-fighting.

::goes to IMDB::

Torque! Right. God, why did I remind myself of its existence? You see what you people have done? I hate all of you.

Dark Shadows | Michael Bay Directs Victoria's Secret Commercial

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.