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Three More Reasons You Picked the Wrong Day to Stop Sniffing Glue

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 18, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 18, 2011 |

What? Wait, what? Huh? According to Movieweb, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the two guys who were the most sought after screenwriters in Hollywood for about six months following Zombieland, only to take the writing gig for the G.I. Joe sequel and the iffy Deadpool (what a waste), have decided to turn their movie into a half-hour comedy series. For a network. Fox, to be exact. Can our television sets sustain two zombie shows? Doesn’t this feel like cheap, “The Walking Dead” coattail riding? I get that it’s a half-hour comedy (and apparently, a fangless one if it will be on Fox), but it really does feeling like cashing in, and without Woody Harrelson, I’m not sure if I can climb aboard a series based on one of my favorite zombie movies. Unless they get Tyler Labine. Did you hear me, Fox? Hire Tyler Labine (even better, double him with Bret Harrison) and I will consider watching. Oh, who am I kidding. I’m going to watch anyway, but please, for the love of Christ, don’t hire the “Terra Nova” casting director.

In other Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese news, the two plan to continue wasting their talents on shitty potential franchise, having signed on to pen the script for a potential Micronauts movie. For the blessedly unfamiliar, Micronauts, a Hasbro-owned toy brand, blends robots with interchangeable parts.They should not be confused with Micromachines. Or Transformers.

And while we’re on the topic of Hasbro, in other news of the preposterous, Variety is reporting that Hasbro is talking with Michael Bay about coming back not for just for a fourth Transformers film, but a fifth one, as well. And they want to film them simultaneously. The kicker: There apparently is some truth to the rumor that Jason Statham may join the franchise. At the very least, the Transformers shoot should preclude him from continuing to make an interchangeable movie each month. Two more Transformers movies, on top of two more Fast and Furious movies, is exactly what Hollywood needs in order to bankroll less expensive shitty movies.

All the news isn’t terrible today, though: Yesterday, it was announced that F/X has picked up “Sons of Anarchy” for fifth season (unsurprisingly, since it’s the highest rated drama on cable), and AMC is reporting that “The Walking Dead” broke ratings records for cable on Sunday night, with 11 million viewers. It’s 4.8 million in adults 18-49 would’ve put it in the top ten for the week, on all channels.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.