In a world where the Twitter account @shitmydadsays can be adapted into the failed William Shatner starring sitcom “$#*! My Dad Says,” it isn’t completely outside the realm of possibility that a movie production company would buy the rights to adapt a video game based solely off of said game’s very first trailer. So, I guess it’s good that we have that precedence, without which, Lionsgate’s purchase of the recently released game Dead Island, because the Internet really liked the trailer, would be plain silly. So sayeth Lionsgate executive Joe Drake:
“This is exactly the type of property we’re looking to adapt at Lionsgate: it’s sophisticated, edgy, and a true elevation of a genre that we know and love. It also has built in brand recognition around the world, and franchise potential.”
Wow. Sounds amazing, huh? If you missed the money-making trailer before, it’s worth watching, though, as Marty McFly would say, it is heavy. Seriously. And at just over three minutes long, the “trailer” is really more of a short film:
Yeah, it’s pretty fucking good. It ought to be the video for Dictionary.com’s entry on the word “affecting.” But this deal was in the making before the game’s release, and now that it’s been made official, it turns out, the game itself is little more than a FPS/RPG (first person shooter/role playing game) with zombies in a tropical paradise. Granted, I’ve yet to play it, and I really want to, but if the Resident Evil franchise is any proof, knowledge of the original game’s storyline won’t be necessary. What I find most interesting about this news, however, is that it is now entirely possible for a film to capture the literal moment of a zombie jumping over a shark with little to no irony. I mean, it’s just the perfect opportunity — when else are you going to have zombies and sharks “logically” capable of interacting? I’d do it. It would be the first scene I’d write:
EXT. DEAD ISLAND - DAY
A water skiing zombie hits a sand dune in the middle of the ocean, flying over a shark as it jumps out of the water and bites the zombie in half.
WATER SKIING ZOMBIE: —EEEEEEYY…!
The formerly frantic crowd on the beach, including the formerly rampaging undead, stop to cheer the momentous event. FADE OUT.
That’s a concept worth rooting for more than, say “snakes on a plane.” And if the screenwriters somehow miss this wide open chance, thanks to commenter superasente fulfilling my desire to see a representation of the zombie genre jumping the mis-a-trope-iate shark, we don’t have to wait for the Dead Island movie to make that moment a reality:
God damn, do I love the Internet.