John Carter is of course based on the John Carter of Mars series of novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs, featuring a Civil War soldier (guess what his name is) who is transported to Mars and has fantastic adventures. This is Mars for a very loose definition of that planet for anyone who has paid the slightest attention to science for the last fifty years, but you don’t get to read old science fiction without taking the lumps that were proven wrong.
Disney acquired the rights to the film because they had an excess of mediocrity just laying around that they needed to spread onto another franchise before it went past its suck-by date. And they felt a need to drop “of Mars” from the title, because they are apparently trying to trick a whole lot of geriatric TNT viewers of “ER” reruns to camp out with “Carter and Abbey Forever” t-shirts.
Some new marketing hit the fan today, including a new poster, which is overwhelmingly underwhelming:
There are also some pictures. Here are their various pixels:
This actually looks pretty cool, but if it’s a sassy side kick for comic relief, I hope someone just kicks it.
“If I’m a Civil War soldier on Mars, why am I dressed like Conan in a skirt?”
He’s really wishing more people had watched “Friday Night Lights” about now.
Avatar extra wandered on the set here, which really isn’t fair since Burroughs’ 12 foot aliens predate James Cameron’s by almost a century.
Looks like an outtake from Prince of Persia.
Ooh, a pod racer! Somebody get Jake Lloyd.
I’m in favor of adapting old stories that no one has given proper film treatment to, but the images and trailers released so far are not particularly encouraging. And it’s too easy to be snarky because the older the story, the longer other people have had to
steal borrow from it. So most of these images just look like cliched junk, because the original images have been so liberally sampled over the last century by other stories.