On the one hand, you have to give Dwayne Johnson props — he’s refused to let his wrestling career dictate his script choices. But on the other hand: Jesus, dude. Give the family films a goddamn rest. Nut up, motherfucker. Use those gargantuan biceps to hurt some people.
This … Jesus. Dude. Come on. The fucking Tooth Fairy. People like you, Dwayne. You’re charming. You’re good looking. And you’ve got one helluva smile. We forgive you, inexplicably, for all your horrible movie choices. But, Big D. This is too much. You’re killing your female masturbation fodder vibe.
You’re going to need to go ahead and turn in your dignity card, sir.