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Humiliation: Thy Name is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 22, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 22, 2009 |

On the one hand, you have to give Dwayne Johnson props — he’s refused to let his wrestling career dictate his script choices. But on the other hand: Jesus, dude. Give the family films a goddamn rest. Nut up, motherfucker. Use those gargantuan biceps to hurt some people.

This … Jesus. Dude. Come on. The fucking Tooth Fairy. People like you, Dwayne. You’re charming. You’re good looking. And you’ve got one helluva smile. We forgive you, inexplicably, for all your horrible movie choices. But, Big D. This is too much. You’re killing your female masturbation fodder vibe.

You’re going to need to go ahead and turn in your dignity card, sir.


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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.