Josh Trank is a talented director (he directed Chronicle and has signed on for a Star Wars stand-alone movie), and if you have to reboot Fantastic Four, a lead cast that includes Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, and Jamie Bell sounds promising.
What doesn’t sound promising, however, is the rumored synopsis for the Fantastic Four reboot, according to Comic Book Movie:
THE FANTASTIC FOUR, a contemporary re-imagining of Marvel’s original and longest-running superhero team, centers on four young outsiders who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.
Teleport to an alternative universe? Come again? So, are they saving Earth in this universe, or the other universe, and if they’re in that other universe, can they stop by and say hi to Rose and the Not-Doctor?
Look: Most loglines sound dumb, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Here’s the one for Interstellar, for instance: “A team of explorers travel through a wormhole in an attempt to find a potentially habitable planet that will sustain humanity.” Here’s the one for Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie): “A flighty teenage girl learns that she is her generation’s destined battler of vampires.”
Those don’t really tell us much, although if that’s all I knew about the films, I probably wouldn’t have bothered. Teleporting to another universe could be super cool! Or it could erase the stakes and be really, really dumb. But no matter how dumb it is, it will never be as dumb as the fact that Doctor Doom is a fucking blogger.
How does he get to the other universe, anyway? Through a crack in a Buzzfeed GIF?