Sharks on a Lake
Snakes on a plane…sharks on a lake. I see how this works. What I didn’t see was David Ellis’ reptile creature feature because number one, I don’t like snakes and number two, I don’t like snakes. But at least the flying snakes had Samuel L. Jackson to help get people on board. Even the barely watchable Cellular had Kim Basinger kicking some ass to elevate it past Lifetime fare. But for his next film, either Ellis has completely given up trying to get a recognizable name, or he is simply unable - so I guess Relativity (who just picked up distribution rights) is banking on 3D and the inherent allure of sharks.
Without so much as a title or a name you can recognize, Untitled 3D Shark Thriller is making its way to the big screen, apparently hoping to be the next generation’s Jaws. According to Variety, the thriller revolves around a group of weekend vacationers at a Louisiana lake house; the trip quickly goes bad as they are attacked by killer sharks. I’m pretty sure someone already made this movie with giant monster crocodiles or some other non-lake-dwelling beast. In fact, I’d be really surprised if SyFy hasn’t already done this as well as can be expected. But Untitled 3D Shark Thriller does have one thing going for it and that is Walt Conti, the special effects and animatronics man behind Deep Blue Sea, Anaconda and Free Willy.
3D Shark will debut in 2011 and the folks who may or may not be devoured by Conti’s creations include Sara Paxton (“The Beautiful Life”), Alyssa Diaz (Red Dawn), Dustin Milligan (“90210”), Chris Carmack (“Drop Dead Diva”), Sinqua Walls (“Savage County”) and American Idoler, Katharine McPhee. I’d like to suggest that the whole cast be devoured in the first five minutes and the rest of the movie follow the giant sharks as they eat the entire state of Louisiana. Maybe they end up ingesting too much Cajun food while devouring restaurants and spontaneously combust? It’s got to be as good an idea as Ellis has cooked up.