My husband is sometimes allowed to choose a movie to watch, even when I have no interest in the movie he picks. The last time he chose a movie, it was Ben Affleck in The Accountant.
He’s taking a little time out from choosing movies right now.
I found The Accountant to be insulting on several levels and incredibly underwhelming. Worst of all, it was BOOOOORING. It was unrelenting in its mediocrity and generic plot while still managing to screw up the simplest of tropes: Unassuming dude is secret assassin.
At any rate, The Accountant was a hit at the box office with $155.1 million. Since that’s fair to middlin’ and the director is a dude, there are currently talks for a sequel. Affleck would return and so would Jon Bernthal and—God, I’m bored. MOVING ON.
Next up is The Conjuring 3, written by The Conjuring 2’s screenwriter David Leslie Johnson. If that’s the case, then hard pass. I mean, I’ll watch it because it is my duty to watch all of the horror movies, but I won’t like it. I might like it a little. BUT JUST A LITTLE.
I quite enjoyed The Conjuring, finding it to be a nice balance of the For the Movies relationship of The Warrens, the haunting itself, and plenty of creepy goodness. The sequel was a messy slop of Warren romance coupled with a slow introduction to the main family and their haunting and fewer creepy goodies. The nun, however, was terrifying. The Crooked Man was criminally underused and should have replaced star Patrick Wilson’s acoustic rendition of Elvis. With The Crooked Man taking over crooning duties, you understand?
Anyway, maybe you think the third installment can make up for the comparatively shitty sequel, but I’m not as convinced.
And, of course, Transformers 4,647 is all but assured.