There’s a new Muppet movie coming out in November, but it’s been largely flying under the radar. We’ve got a picture of the poster for the film and the plot summary, both of which serve as evidence for why it’s been under the radar. Namely, it looks terrible.
Here’s the first shot of the poster. The only interesting part of it is the strange glowing distortion at the center, but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure that’s just a flash reflection from whoever snuck the photo. Posters like this are inexplicable enough when there are actors walking away from a point in different directions, but this just looks like someone took five dolls and arranged them that way. The magic of something like the Muppets is the way that something lifeless can be transformed into something bursting with life. This poster is magical because it manages to take something lifeless and make it seem even less lifelike.
Oh fine, the poster is hopelessly generic and pointless but it’s not outright offensive. Except for the tag line. “They’re closer than you think.” Are they suggesting that the Muppets are in my heart? Because I can assure them there’s nothing in there except for dust and a rabid miniature Wookie.
Here’s the summary of the film’s plot:
On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino tribute band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate. With secret, signature, celebrity cameos, “The Muppets” hits the big screen Nov. 23, 2011.
Oh gosh, the bad company is going to tear down the youth center, we’ll raise money to save it by winning the all-valley basketball tournament!