The Latest News on the Hotly Anticipated 'Sharknado 5: Global Swarming'
Just kidding. No one gives a fuck about this except SyFy, celebrity bookies, and possibly the gang at How Did This Get Made.
The first Sharknado was a perfect storm (pun
not intended) of ridiculousness, earnest performances, and terrible that somehow worked. At least, it worked if you only watched it once or twice. Anything more was overkill. Then they decided to have a sequel. Then a third movie. A fourth. And now?
Fabio will be playing the Pope. Charo is the Queen of England. Chris Kattan will be England’s Prime Minister.
It isn’t funny anymore. When you force the crazy and terrible, you get something irritating and lacking fun. Casting via dartboards and Ouija boards isn’t the best way to get quirky and entertaining. You get desperate and cringe-worthy.
Give it up, Sharknado. “Make America Bait Again” is a terrible tagline and this franchise died three movies ago.
($5 says they get covfefe in there before it airs.)
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