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The Hollywood Reporter's Anonymous Emmy Voter Is Somehow Not Satire

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 13, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 13, 2017 |

Every year, The Hollywood Reporter asks an Emmy voter to explain his votes. I don’t think it’s the same guy every year, but it might be. Anyway, this year’s reads like satire, like an SNL sketch that takes every stereotype we think about Emmy voters and distills them into one magically infuriating ballot.

Flames, flames, on the side of my face.

Best Drama:

I voted for This Is Us because it was the most surprising of all of these. Every episode was great, everyone can relate to at least one of those characters, and it was the one show this year that we would rush home to watch and talk about; I mean, they just posted a teaser clip from season two and I showed it to my wife and I was in tears. Also, it’s a network show — which means having to make more episodes than any of the others and having many more opportunities to belly flop — and I like TV networks.

I mean, This is Us is a fine show, but over Stranger Things, The Handmaid’s Tale (which he called monotone), and Better Call Saul? No.

Best Comedy:

I’m very old-fashioned when it comes to comedies — I like them to be funny — and Atlanta is not funny. It’s very creative — I’m a big Donald Glover fan, I think he’s a huge talent and I wish that show nothing but success — but it isn’t funny, at least to an old white guy like me. I enjoy Master of None more in theory than I do in practice; it’s just a little too preachy and sanctimonious. Similar thing with Black-ish: it’s funny, but I always feel like I’m being scolded and educated …

He’s an old white guy? YOU DON’T SAY?

Best Talk Show:

I enjoy Full Frontal and I feel like I have a duty to vote for it because the host [Samantha Bee] is a woman, but there’s a certain smugness about that show that doesn’t work for me. Bill Maher? I love that show [Real Time], and I’m tempted to vote for it just to push back against the oppressive political-correctness that he faced [after he used the N-word on one episode this season] …

Samantha Bee is smug, but Bill Maher isn’t? Someone get me a Twilight Zone GIF.

Reality Competition:

Project Runway and RuPaul[’s Drag Race]? They’re a little too female, a little too gay for me — they’re fine, but not for me.

Too gay? Too female? Too black?

Now we now why Modern Family gets nominations every single year.

Best Television Movie:

There was no way I wasn’t going to vote for Black Mirror, which I think was one of the greatest things on television in a long time and should have been up for best limited series, which is what it really is — it’s an anthology series, not a collection of individual movies. I actually thought “San Junipero,” the one they submitted, was one of the lesser ones, but the whole thing — the storytelling, the creativity, the imagination — is just spectacular.


Source: THR via Scott Meslow

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.