I don’t know, y’all. I don’t have a ton of experience directing hardcore S&M movies, obviously, but I think if I were to do it, I’d want it to be a lot more messy, and not nearly as cold and sterile as this trailer is suggesting the movie will be. It’s hard to develop chemistry between two people when they’re speaking in short, halting sentences, and the kind of tone set in the trailer might make it hard to connect with the characters.

And when it comes to soft-core porn, a connection with the characters seems very important. Right? Or are we just watching this for the sex scenes?

Oh, just the sex scenes then? Fair enough.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.