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'The Expendables 3' Teaser Trailer is Here, Mostly Because of Inertia and Apathy

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 19, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 19, 2013 |

Remember how we used to make fun of how old everyone is in The Expendables. Well, they’re three years older now, and much like this franchise, they are inexorably creeping ever so closer to death. At least they’re whistling cheerily into the black-hole chasm of hell.

Jesus, Harrison Ford. You’ve got more millions than you have years left to spend it. Why? “Because I was Han fucking Solo, you little sh*t. And if someone wants to pay me $3 million for four days of work, I’m going to take it, and I’m going to use it to build another wall around my heart to close all you pathetic, sad-sack f*ckers off.”

Oh. OK, then.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.