You may have caught it elsewhere, but over the last two days, the Internet has been running this story about the saddest movie scene of all time, as determined by science. (For effect, 90 percent of all websites All-Capped SCIENCE). The scene is from the 1979 movie The Champ, and depicted Ricky Schroeder’s young character crying after the death of his father, played by Jon Voight.
I admit, I cried, too. But mostly over the bad hair and Schroeder’s bad acting.
No, but really: How could you not cry at that scene? Are you some kind of animal? That scene would make fucking Voldemort cry.
Anyway, apparently a couple of scientist tested over 250 scenes on their subjects and came to the conclusion that that scene from The Champ was the weepiest, beating out the likes of that scene from Bambi, the final thumbs up scene in Terminator 2 and presumably the obvious choice: The Alan Tudyk scene from Serenity. You know what I’m talking about.
Still, clearly the only reason that the scene from The Champ topped the list was because the scientist didn’t use scenes from television. Otherwise, this scene — obviously the saddest scene in any medium of all time ever in the history of mankind past, present or future — would’ve claimed the top spot, and it would’ve done so without the hammy performances of Schroeder and Voight.
The scene never fails, folks. Never fucking fails. Just hit the play button and accept your fate.