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The 7 Most Important Highlights from the 2017 Golden Globes

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 9, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 9, 2017 |

There are a few things that should be remembered from last night’s Golden Globes.

1) They got a lot wrong. Casey Affleck beat Denzel. Aaron Taylor Johnson beat Mahershala Ali. Billy Bob Thornton beat Bob Odenkirk. La La Land won more awards than it deserved.

2) They got a few things right. Moonlight for Best Drama. Viola Davis for Best Supporting Actor. Donald Glover and Atlanta for best actor and best comedy.

3) Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig’s bit was one of the funniest bits I have ever seen on an awards show. Ever.

4) Tom Hiddleston gave one of the worst, most tin-eared, tone-deaf self-congratulatory speeches in awards show history.

Christian Slater’s response to the speech was ALL OF US.


5) Meryl Streep, who was awarded the Cecil B. Demille Award, gave a speech every bit as good as Tom Hiddleston’s speech was awful, and it was only outdone by the introduction from Viola Davis.

6) Ryan Gosling gave the sweetest speech of the night.

Meanwhile, Ryan Reynolds lost out to Gosling in the Best Actor category, but his runner-up prize was just as good.


That covers most of the highlights. If there’s anything else you missed, catch up via Courtney’s liveblog, and here’s a list of the night’s winners.

Jimmy Fallon, meanwhile, was terrible as host. The show’s La La Land intro was bland, and his monologue was forgettable. At every other point in the show in which Fallon appeared he was simply superfluous. A non-entity. That said, he did deliver a few jabs at Donald Trump, although overall — save for the Meryl Streep speech — the night was short on Trump insults, alas.

7. Here were all of them, ranked from best to work.

a. On why this may be the last Golden Globes ceremony, which is hosted by the Hollywood Foreign Press. “I don’t mean to be gloomy, but it does have the words Hollywood, foreign and press in it. “To some Republicans, even the word association is slightly sketchy.”” — Hugh Laurie

b. “Game of Thrones is nominated tonight, how great is that? The show has so many plot twists and chalky moments, a lot of people have wondered what it would’ve been like if King Geoffery had lived. Well in 12 days, we’re gonna find out.” — Jimmy Fallon

c. “The film ‘Florence Foster Jenkins’ was nominated. The character has been dubbed the world’s worst opera singer, and even she turned down performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration. It’s tough to book.” — Jimmy Fallon

d. “This is the Golden Globes, one of the few places left where America still honors the popular vote.” — Jimmy Fallon

e. “You might remember Manchester by the Sea as being the only thing from 2016 that was more depressing than 2016” and joked that the night’s ballots were being tabulated by Ernst & Young LLP “and Putin.” — Jimmy Fallon

The 2017 Golden Globes Award Winners (Full List) -- Mahershala Ali Was Robbed | Her Coward of a Boss Continues to Force Kellyanne Conway Into Making Laughable Statements of Defense

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.