As Courtney reported, Disney is totally not pounding the Indiana Jones franchise into the ground with a fifth movie. They’re totally doing us a favor by making a fifth Indiana Jones movie.
Since we are all so very excited for 2019 and the latest adventures of Dr. Jones, here are some of the plots and titles being considered. By me. That I made up. Just now.
1. Indiana Jones and the Search for Assisted Living
Shia LaBeouf will reprise his role from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as Indy’s son, uh, Greasewad? I’m pretty sure that was his name. Anyway, Greasewad and his wife make the difficult decision to place Indy in a home, as his “adventures” late at night always end with the police picking him up and taking him to his son’s house.
Gasp as they check the array of social activities available! Cry as Indy tries to convince them that he doesn’t need any help, he’s fine. Smile as Indy falls in love with a nurse (played by Selena Gomez) that joins him in his travels!
2. Indiana Jones and the House of the Future
It’s basically Dr. Jones working his way through the house from this cartoon:
3. Indiana Jones and - Did He Ever Tell You About the Time He Fought Nazis?
Indy’s grandkids (played by Bella Thorne and Josh Hutcherson) come over for a visit, but get sucked into a day filled with a rambling re-telling of Papaw’s adventures. The treasure is family.
4. Indiana Jones and the Damn Kids Are On the Lawn Again. Where Are Their Parents? In My Day, We Respected Other People and Their Property.
It’s sort of like Gran Torino crossed with Dennis the Menace and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. The coveted treasure being sought is a lush, green lawn.
5. Indiana Jones and the Day of Napping In An Armchair For Hours
The treasure is waking back up.