Here’s a delightful, adorable trailer for Christopher Robin, which is the exact opposite of what parents need right now. I mean, sure it looks sweet, and it will probably elicit a few tears, but it’s yet another movie designed to make parents feel guilty for working too much, as though we needed another lecture from our children about stepping away from the computer every once in a while. Thanks for nothing, A.A. Milne. We don’t all have jobs that we can justify to our children by saying, “Oh, but I’m writing this book for you. It’s about you.”
Sometimes, you know, work “can’t be helped.” How do you expect for us to be able to pay to take you to see Christopher Robin, huh? Going to the movies isn’t cheap, you know? And you’re like, “I want popcorn and candy!” and then you have the audacity to come home and say, “But Dad! Why are you working instead of playing with us.” Where do you think the candy and popcorn come from, child? You like this house you’re living in, huh? Huh? And don’t give me that, “Spending time with you is the most important” bullshit, because I see you sneaking in, and stealing my phone, and hiding under your covers and some stupid game in which you’ve “accidentally” made 17 in-app purchases that I have to pay for by sitting in front of my computer some more.
Don’t put this on me, kids. GOD. You know how many posts I have to write so you can watch Christopher Robin? I’m sorry we can’t spend every weekend in a cottage in the British countryside, BUT SOME OF US HAVE TO EARN A LIVING.
God, that is a wonderful trailer.