Television News That Will Make You Yell WYLD STALLYNS RULE! Or Not.
Tim Taylor’s youngest son has been convicted of DUI and hash possession. You know, the one that married the woman much, much older than him. Taran Noah Smith. Name still isn’t ringing a bell, is it? Anyway, Smith was sentenced to 12 hours in a program for the DUI and 6 months in a drug-diversion program for the hash. If he were still famous, it would be a 12 minute DUI program and the drug program would be dropped because of overcrowding. Unrelated: those are some of the deadest eyes I’ve ever seen.
In other child star news, Frankie Muniz of “Malcolm In The Middle” suffered a mini-stroke on Friday. There’s no joke here, kids. That’s just straight up terrifying since Muniz is 26.
This next news about Jamie Foxx’s show for TNT? I can’t even with it, so I’ll just post the description here:
Hit centers on two former high school football teammates and best friends — one a QB, one a WR — who years later are “drafted” by the Miami P.D. and assigned to HIT (High Impact Team). The same shorthand that made them unstoppable on the gridiron makes them great partners taking down the most dangerous criminals in the city.”
If there isn’t a recurring moment in the show where the QB throws an improvised weapon at a criminal and the WR catches something besides herpes, I will burn Utica to the ground.
AMC has picked up a Midwestern militia pitch from Bill S. Preston, Esq., AKA Alex Winter. See, the militia pitch could be something that wide receiver in the last item catches. Anyway, the proposed drama, tentatively called “Rights Of Bill”, would center around a sheriff in Wisconsin that forms his own militia. Hmm.
Michael “I’M NOT A RACIST!” Richards is set to star alongside Kirstie “*insert crazy noises here*” Alley and Rhea Perlman in TV Land’s “Giant Baby”. Alley is a Broadway star that the son she gave up for adoption come back into her life. Richards will be Alley’s limo driver. Perlman is her assistant and friend. This sounds terrible.
Sean Bean is going to star in “Legends” on TNT. I would guess that he won’t be killed off in this series, but you never know. Bean will play “Martin Odum (Bean), a deep-cover operative who has an uncanny ability to transform himself into a different person for each job.”
Finally, FOX is adding to their animated line-up with “Murder Police”. Surprisingly, it isn’t from Seth MacFarlane, but from David A. Goodman (“Family Guy”) and Jason Ruiz. So just MacFarlane -adjacent. Ruiz will voice, as will Will Sasso (“Family Guy”), Horatio Sanz (“SNL”, Wreck-It Ralph), Penny Marshall (LAVERNE!), and Chi McBride (“Pushing Daisies”, “Boston Public”). Look for it in 2013.