Taylor Lautner’s new movie, That Movie with the Guy from Twilight In It, opens on September 23rd. It stars That Guy from Twilight. In the film, That Guy from Twilight discovers that his parents are not only dead, but not actually his parents at all. And for whatever reason, that’s cause for shattering a window. Seems kind of extreme to me, but what do I know. Maybe his DNA contains the secret to eternal life. That I could see shattering a window for.

So, you go, Guy from Twilight. Show ‘em you’re more than just …

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