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John Woo Breaks The Universe (And My Heart)

By Miscellaneous | Industry | March 13, 2009 |

By Miscellaneous | Industry | March 13, 2009 |

Hello again, my siblings in the obscure and semi-cool!

It has been announced that there will be a movie based on Stranglehold, the 2007 video game that acted as a technical sequel to John Woo’s seminal 1992 action film, Hard Boiled. Woo’s Lion Rock Entertainment has drafted Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio to write, but no word yet if front man and Woo muse Chow Yun-Fat (currently in Dragonball: Evolution and working on a Confucius biopic) will be involved. Let me make this clear: There is going to be an adaptation of a video game that was the sequel to a cult classic just shy of 20 years old. On the day this releases, if you see an old guy riding a six-legged horse and screaming about a dragon, run like hell, for even the gods die that day.

This news item ties somewhat into stipe42’s excellent hero/villain piece. Alex Proyas, currently promoting his Nicolas Cage pain machine Knowing, discussed his idea for a possible sequel to his film Dark City. Says Proyas:

“I always thought it would be intriguing to have Rufus [Sewell], who was the hero in the first one, be the bad guy,” Proyas explained. “He should turn nasty because he’s got unlimited power. That’s something I’d like to explore.”

I loved Dark City, and was entertained by I, Robot (aka The Future’s So Bright, Where Are My Damn Shades?), so Proyas is still good with me. And it would be an interesting idea, seeing such power corrupt such a man. And Rufus Sewell needs more than just Eleventh Hour. Although I am still trying to understand, if what Proyas says about the popularity of the original is true, WHY HE IS DOING THIS MOVIE WITH NICOLAS CAGE.

The latest cast addition for Sylvester Stallone’s Epic Action Movie Cavalcade of Stars … I mean The Expendables, is former Whedonverse vixen and all-around MILF Charisma Carpenter. She will be playing the girlfriend of Jason Statham’s character, which, considering the crowd reading this, just earned her a considerable amount of envy. Carpenter is currently guest-starring on “CSI” and is filming a guest stint on (no real surprise) “Dollhouse.”

Some time ago, it was announced that there would be two television forays from the Star Wars media machine. The first, the CGI series “Clone Wars,” is busy ruining the only decent thing to come from the prequels (the animated shorts). The second is the long-rumored live-action series, set to take place during the Dark Times (the nomenclature for the years between the prequels and the original trilogy) and will focus less on the Jedi/Sith and more on the Rebel Alliance during its development. Well guess what fellow geeks? They are now casting! Now while it is doubtful that the show will be “‘Deadwood’ meets ‘The Sopranos’ in space” (that was an actual comparison) or be shown on HBO, that doesn’t mean it won’t at least be worth a shot. So Prisco (as Pajiba’s official actor), grow out the muttonchops and practice your Wookiee growling. And yes, I am going to shill you for any casting rumor I hear, dammit.

Oh and while we are on the subject of LucasFilm TV shows, Warwick Davis has hinted at a possible “Willow” TV show. Now to hurry along to the next item before you start having conniptions …

I happily admit that I would drink Milla Jovovich’s bathwater. And honestly, that is probably the most chaste and appropriate way I can describe the things I would do to/with/for/in/on/by/beneath her. That said, Milla Jovovich is starring in a new film that doesn’t involve zombies and psychic powers (seriously, leave it to Paul W.S. Anderson to make that combination seem less palatable than normal). She is playing the lead in Mile Zero, a thriller where a young woman takes a job on an Alaskan oil rig to prove her father did not commit a gruesome series of murders. Marcel Langenegger (the snoozer Deception) will direct. Jovovich is also in David Twohy’s (the Riddick franchise) once-delayed but now on track latest, The Perfect Getaway. Jovovich will play the new wife of Steve Zahn (lucky SOB), whose Hawaiian honeymoon turns for the worse due to the threat of killer pair Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez. Considering that first sentence, it is a pretty safe bet I will be checking these out at some point in time.

Speaking of Twohy’s most famous work Vin Diesel recently discussed plans for a third Riddick film while promoting the new Assault on Dark Athena video game. Says Diesel:

“Maybe we’ve been too tight-lipped about the movie, and you’ll probably hear a lot more about it as this game is released. I think we were so adamant about knocking this game out of the park that we’ve been doing a lot of late hours — the overtime’s on the game at the moment while David Twohy is finishing up the next script.”

I will admit, I am in that small, small, small contingent of people who thought Chronicles of Riddick was salvageable. I have this theory that if a sci-fi film with a low budget is successful, giving the sequel a higher budget is a stamp of failure. Somehow, the lower budget forces the creator to reign in their more outrageous and destructive tendencies. That is what went wrong with that film; too much money. Anyway, I still hold out hope that this third film, if it is ever put into play, will show the lessons learned from the second one. Stop that snickering.

Comic Recommendation: Human Target from DC/Vertigo. Christopher Chance has a unusual job: He uses his mastery of disguises and mimicry to copy his client’s identity and act as a human decoy for any threats on their lives. He is very good, and makes a lot of money doing it. Only the problem is his dead-accurate impersonations come from his own self-delusion, developing a schizophrenic bond with the personality he is copying. Chance is the ultimate Method actor, so devoted to his current role that he often cannot remember where he begins and the target ends. The comic, written by Peter Milligan and drawn by Javier Pullido and based on a character created by Len Wein and Carmine Infantino, was a crazy treatise on the nature of identity and sanity, as any male character in the book could conceivably be Chance. Even the narration by Chance is questionable, because you don’t know which Chance is narrating. There is a TV pilot in the works; with Mark Valley (“Fringe,” the sorely still-missed “Keen Eddie”) as Chance, Jackie Earle Haley (Rorshach in Watchmen) as his info broker and researcher, and Chi McBride (the even more missed “Pushing Daisies”) in an as-yet-unspecified role. Fun fact: there was a short-lived series based on the same character that ran in the summer of 1992. The star: Rick Springfield. I swear to Godtopus.

Today’s Trailer Watch is from The Limits of Control, the latest from Ghost Dog writer/director Jim Jarmusch:

Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, can finally edit his posts on Pajiba! So make your snarky corrections now, you jackanapes. He can be found making his blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle, extremely jealous.