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Stop Doing That Thing With the Movies You Keep Choosing, Johnny Depp

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 12, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 12, 2014 |

Next February, Johnny Depp is going to play the title character in a movie called Mortdecai. It has a very impressive cast (of what looks mostly to be super-sized cameos) that includes Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, Jeff Goldblum, Aubrey Plaza, and Oliver Platt, and it comes from David Koepp — who has written at least 10 movies you’ve seen (Spiderman, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Zathura) , and directed mostly bad movies you have not (Ghost Town, Secret Window, Premium Rush.

This one — about an art dealer searching for a stolen painting that’s reportedly linked to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold — looks like a cross between Mr. Bean and Pink Panther, or another variation on Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow, only with different costume and facial hair.

I really miss the Johnny Depp from movies like What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.