This feels like it should be one of Dustin’s “Two Truths And A Lie” except that a) I’m too fucking lazy to think up a lie, and b) I doubt anyone is surprised. Appalled and horrified, perhaps, but not surprised.
Yeah. Showgirls is getting a sequel. Frankly, I’m kind of stunned it hasn’t happened already. Anyway, JoBlo is reporting that the sequel is being developed by writer/director Marc Volander, and will be called Showgirls: A Story of Hope. Because it will focus on a minor character from the original, whose name was Hope.
Get it? A Story of Hope? About a girl named Hope?
And people wonder why I want to blow up the universe and kill everything ever.
Ahem. Excuse me. That slipped out. Anyway, Hope will be played by Rena Riffel, who played her in the original. Since Showgirls, Ms. Riffel has been quite busy, acting in such tour de force productions like Trasherella (which she also directed!) and Caligula’s Spawn. No word on whether or not Jessie Spano will make a cameo, but one can only —
What the fuck am I doing here? How did it come to this? Am I seriously reporting on a fucking Showgirls sequel? WHO THE HELL DO I HAVE TO KILL FOR THIS?